Giant Super Mega A$$holes

Buddhism teaches us that there are 4 appropriate responses to other people, depending on what they need. We call these the 4 Bramavahiras, or divine abodes. If that sounds woo-woo, don’t worry. It’s pretty straight forward stuff-and it makes a lot of sense. These are guidelines that help us help others, or at the very least avoid getting sucked into needless bullshit.

The first abode is Loving-Kindness (metta). This is a pretty good approach to life in general, but in particular we want to practice this when we encounter someone who is happy or joyful. Meeting them at that same level helps us add to their joy and our own, without making it about ourselves or sucking the energy out of the situation.

When we encounter someone who is suffering, we meet them with compassion (karuna). This means we hold space for them, not necessarily trying to fix or solve their problems, but simply being there. We understand that they are in pain, and we do what we can to alleviate that pain, but we don’t add to the suffering by making it our own.

Next we can practice the 3rd abode: Sympathetic joy (mudita). This is useful when we meet people who are virtuous, truthful, generally in a good place and trying to do good for others. We are happy for those who are in a good place, we delight in their wellness. Again we don’t make it about ourselves, but we share in their joy.

Finally, and probably most challenging: Equanimity (uppeka). When we encounter assholes, people who are lashing out and causing pain to others, fuckheads…that sort of thing. It certainly doesn’t help us to meet them with more assholeness. We also can’t necessarily feel joy or compassion (especially when they’re atatcking us personally) but what we can do is try to be equanimous. This means that we don’t get swept away by their bullshit, we don’t buy into the drama. We don’t wish them pain or suffering in return. We see that they are suffering, and we don’t allow that to make us suffer as well (nor do we delight in their suffering-even if they’re giant super-mega assfuckfaces).

If we want to find real peace in life we’ve gotta get off the drama binge. Loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity are the tools to get us there. Remember, these are just practices, we’re going to suck at them a lot, but as long as we keep trying we will make progress and we will suffer less.

In other news! We have a new Yoga for Punks course launching in January! It’s 31 days of 10 minute classes for $31! Classes are prerecorded so you can do them at your own pace. Check that shit out!

Yoga for Punks

Black Friday Yoga Class!


Just a quick message to let you know I’m teaching a special LIVE class on Friday November 26th at 9 am Central! Class is $20 and a zoom link will be posted day of! ALL levels are welcome, that means total beginners too. Come on by and work off some of that turkey/booze or just find a little peace of mind after spending Thanksgiving with your entire extended family.

Sign up now!

Do something nice for yourself and get your ass to class (virtually!).

Life moves on

When my mother died, I thought my life was over-but life moved on.

When my sister died, I thought I’d never be happy again-but life moved on.

When my best friend and drummer died, I thought my dreams were dead-but life moved on.

I’m here to tell you dear friends, that whatever hardships you are facing-life will move on. Things will be okay. The sun will shine again.

The biggest mistake you can possibly make

The biggest mistake you can possibly make is to take yourself too seriously.

Realize that on some level you’re a weird animal with a mouth that speaks and a butt that shits. We build up these stories and dramas about what the fuck it means to be human, but in trying to intellectualize the process we lose the connection to the truth. The truth is that these stories we tell ourselves only matter as much as we let them matter. We can choose to have fun. We can choose to be happy more often. We can choose to let the fucking game go. Better yet-we can choose to enjoy playing the game. Whether we “win” or “lose” is of little consequence. The important thing is the joy you feel in your heart.

Life is fun.

Enjoy it once in a while.

The Sun

Let’s take on the perspective that we are powerful. Not in the sense that we can control or change anyone/anything: but in the sense that no one/nothing can control or change us unless we let them/it.

I’m talking about our fundamental, spiritual rights as human beings. We are creatures of love: it’s in our nature to be happy, and to be kind. True, we will all know great sadness, but it’s temporary. The only real, lasting thing is love. As beings of love we are at our best when we connect to happiness and kindness. When we can’t find happiness, at least we can find peace. Peace is available whether we are going through a painful loss or a joyful life event. Peace is always available. People might try and take your peace, but it can only work if you let it happen. Do whatever it takes to find your peace.

Don’t let anything anyone says or does take away your happiness, and your kindness. Yes, we will all have dark days, but remember: the sun will always shine again. May we all practice happiness, and kindness.

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